Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
