i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
