he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
