if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize