i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
