I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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