there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
