Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
