At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
