i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
