doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Are my feet made of real feet?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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