I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize