I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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