I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
