onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I will pee on everything he values.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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