so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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