Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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