dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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