my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
the raccoons are back...
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