Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
