Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
