you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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