I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
