I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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