is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
