I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize