I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
