I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
