Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
