I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
