I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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