Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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