That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
