i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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