He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
