I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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