I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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