i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
