Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
