my mouth tastes like poor choices
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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