Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
