Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Randomize
