I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
