he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
