do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
