Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
