If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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