She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
