super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i think i just lost a toe
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
