i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
