You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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