and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
