The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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