i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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