Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
