PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
