The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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