Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
