that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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