i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
